THE SECRET OF LIFE

The Secret of Life

Life without a self image or an ego, I gather would be different and pristine. All of us cherish life, but do not seem to be aware of it from moment to moment, day by day. We do not seem to love loving as my now long gone pet daschund “Speechka” could. He seemed to know that life is good and lived it from moment to moment day to day.

I still vividly remember with sorrow and happiness before we put him to sleep, after a short kidney illness without hope of recovery. I knew he was dying and so did he, the way he kept looking into my eyes, I could almost hear him say “Sorry pappy I am sorry I am dying and letting you down”. Almost a year ago now, the day before he was put to sleep, I wrapped him up in a blanket, cradled him in my arms and took him for a walk on his daily well beaten path. It was a beautiful evening with a cool breeze whispering through the trees. The path which he walked with me for 15 years as a pup then as a grown up. He was observing the crows and cats, so also the Alsatian his arch rival in No 28. His eyes changed from a dull sheen to that of sheer delight! On seeing the cat he made a feeble movement to chase the fellow but his eyes had that look of love and not ferocity, unforgettable. That day the cat walked beside me whimpering as if it knew that his dear friend was on his last legs. 

Speechka kept looking at him sideways with I am sure a grin in his eyes.

He gave all of us, I and my wife, my two daughters and my grand children absolute unmitigated love, never bothering if he would be loved back or abandoned. I learnt that day, that my loving friend loved life but did not fear death. 

For us human’s death is the ultimate insult to our egos. How can I die, how can the world go on without me. For Speechka and his brethren it was like losing a leg at best.

So identity I think is what we keep working for. Who am I? How do others see me? For Speechka he never bothered with identity, he lived as he saw fit from one moment to another. He loved loving others, when I tried that I realized that I was timid in loving others, afraid of opening my heart all the way. 

It was may be a fear that my true inner self would be laid bare to the world. Lessons and lessons from Speechka. Sharing the 15 years with him was a joy, a joy that has made me more human, more loving and open. It has also taught me a lesson that of caring for others, loving them without any expectations. Of forgetting my identity, knowing that it is only an illusion like water flowing through my fingers. 

Once my sense of identity vanished, so did all the actions associated with it. I have traveled all over the world; I love loving now and love everybody who happens my way. I can tell you new vistas of experience have opened up!! The love I get in return cannot be measured by any scale. Although I do not expect that people should respond, they do with all their hearts. Speechka new the secret of life.

Ajay