HOW TO STAY POSITIVE IN A TOUGH WORK ENVIRONMENT………..

 

Bullets that hit you:

(a)   You can’t help how other people behave can you?

(b)   Neither can you help much about your environment.

(c)    You can change your "Negative world view" or how you perceive the world.

(d)   Change is the only permanent thing in your life, yet it hurts.

(e)   Past experiences:  "don’t carry the extra burden" or you will never be happy.

(f)    Don't determine results, for eg: if you work hard you will get a raise or a promotion.

You must realize that  your thinking leads to emotions, emotions lead to internal and external effects on your physical being. The internal effects may be harmful to you leading to psychosomatic illnesses or they could lead to joy depending upon your thinking which generates emotions. The external effects too could be joyful or harmful. So also they build up attitude. Behaviour is learnt so you can unlearn that by a change in your thinking.

External actions may be giving a slap (negative) or giving a hug (positive). 
Emotions you cannot control but thinking you can. Always remember that. When we say count to ten when you are angry, it means we are only controlling the external violent manifestation of anger. You have not stopped being angry, that is out of your control.
Change your thinking and all will be well.

     


Never ever think that you have become a lowly clerk and your brother is an engineer because your father could not afford a second set of college fees for you and you keep blaming him all the time. You are responsible because you could have worked harder and got a scholar ship or anything. If you discard such thinking in all matters and take responsibility for who you are, what you have and what you do, you will reach the stars.

This is the most important lesson:

(a)   Values are something which are universally accepted. Truthfulness, honesty, Integrity, Timeliness and things like that. Other things which are not universally accepted :

(i)     Like we can achieve salvation through only so and so god. My god etc etc.

(ii)   Wearing only certain type of clothes is permissible. To give an example: If in an Indian village a foreigner, a girl, enters wearing shorts, the villagers might stone her, or hand her over to the police for indecency. The villagers cannot accept this clothing because they are experiencing a cultural binding, although by no means it will be called indecent in her country. A host of other things which are not values they are religious, cultural and social bindings. These can lead to extreme joylessness.

(b)   Check and take control, are your values really values? Or are they a part of learned behaviours? Meaning are they religious, Social and cultural bindings?

(c)    Ownership. If you take ownership of everything of that you do, then you will perform 100 percent and always be joyful. Do you switch off lights and AC when you leave your bed room and your house? Do you keep your house clean by yourself and are not ashamed to wield a broom? Then why do you not bother about your office lights or AC being left switched on when you leave? Why do you expect the cleaners to keep your office clean when you leave it dirty at the end of the day? Because the office does not belong to you, it is "not mine". OWNERSHIP IS THE KEY.

(d)   Take ownership of everything you interact with, even the roads you drive on, the malls you visit and everything around you, you will find yourself always joyful.

(e)   Mission: Unless you have a mission and well defined objectives in life you will never be able to give your best for whatever you attempt. To do that you require Discipline.

If you observe the world logically and not through your own world view (Your glasses of perception) there will be lesser conflicts as it helps changing your thinking, about events, the environment and behaviour of people.

ANIMALS "REACT" TO CIRCUMSTANCES HUMANS "RESPOND"

(a)   You fling away a dinner plate because there is too much salt in your meal. You yell at your wife and ask her is this how your mother taught you to cook? Do you have choices when you respond? 

(b)   Yes you have choices. You realize that your wife too has had a hard day at office. So you can eat with the excess salt. Or you can ask her to add a bit of water to dilute the gravy or you can ask her to serve bread and egg instead. So you have choices.

(c)    Change your thinking. Such circumstances will keep coming up all the time in your daily life. At home with children, relatives, at your place of work. Learn to respond with choices and not react like an animal.

The way to change. Using the analogy of learning to drive.

(a)   You do not know if you can drive even an auto gear vehicle. This is unconscious incompetence. So it is with your behaviour. You do not know how you behave and how people respond to it.

(b)   Now you get in the car and it jumps and stalls when you try to drive. Now you know "I really cannot drive" Conscious incompetence. So when you really observe how people actually look at you and respond, when you behave in a particular way and try to analyze the good and bad, this is now being conscious of your behavior. Conscious incompetencies.

(c)    You join a driving school and learn to drive. You get your license. Yet when a child is crossing on the road a 100 meters ahead of you, you have to think should I apply my brakes or should I bring up my gear from 4 to 3 too. Same is the case of your behaviour patterns when you start thinking before you react. This is conscious competence.

(d)   Now you drive perfectly well without having to think about the child crossing the road, you automatically apply your brakes just so and bring your car up from 4 to 3, all the time talking to your co-passenger. Your behaviour too has changed to responsive and you do not even know it. Unconscious competence. The new you 

If you really look and think about the point about saying something, you will realize that 90 times out of a 100 you will not be required to open your mouth at all !!

                             HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY